- If they are small, unobtrusive, and kept well under control, can we light recreational fires in the kitchen area?
- Under what circumstances would it be acceptable to conduct experiments on live animals in the work-place?
- What is the maximum force in pounds per square inch that the weight bearing walls of the office could sustain? How could such forces be applied using every-day office equipment?
- If I go blind / get hairy palms from the viewing of internet pornography at work, what compensation is due to me?
- Does the company have an anti-tunneling policy? If so, isn’t this a bit discriminatory?
- Is corporal punishment considered acceptable for such crimes as singing out of tune during office hours?
- I think it would be amusing to staple my colleagues to the walls / ceiling with an industrial stapler – are there any pettifogging regulations that prevent me from doing this? If not, can I indent for an industrial stapler, and possibly a glue gun?
- The man in the cubicle next to me is clearly a complete swamp-donkey who hasn’t had a proper wash in weeks – is it possible to arrange for him to be de-loused?
- If there was a fire in the office, would I be allowed to use blood from the Health and Safety rep to extinguish the blaze?
- Drawing pins. Lethal in the wrong hands. Enough said.
Replies on a post-card please. Or whatever the techno-geek equivalent of a postcard might be. As my first ever 'blog' entry, I have, frankly f*** a** idea how this works. Any hints, tips or suggestions, be sure to let me know.
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