Massive Mujahideen Mouse Murdered in West Bank

Hamas TV Kills Off Mickey Mouse Double

AP reports that Hamas television have killed off 'Farfour' a cute little Mickey Mouse look-alike who gave Palestinian children advice on how to fight the Evil Zionists. Farfour was kicked to death by... you've guessed it... a man in a jew suit. The Evil Zionist was trying to buy Farfour's land, the situation got out of control, push-turned-to-shove, and poor of Farfour got the shite kicked out of him and died on the way to hospital (OK, I'm reading between the lines a bit here).

Now, I think that watching a man in a jew-suit kick a man in a giant-mouse-suit to death (preferrably for real, but I'll accept acting if needs be) is quite possibly the best form of entertainment ever conceived. So how do I get Hamas TV on sattelite? Even better, can't we commission Hamas to come and make some programmes for the BBC?

Two other things to ponder. Firstly, how did this happen? I recon it went something like this:

Ahmed (head of scheduling for Hamas Broadcasting Corporation): Something must be done! People are getting slaughtered on the streets for not having fluffy enough beards, people don’t have enough to eat, there are no jobs, no pay, and any minute now the Israelis are going to cut the power again. What can we do?

Mohammed: (studio cleaner): Boss, you know that freakishly large mouse we copied from the Evil Satan Worshippers at Walt Disney and put on the telly to encourage kids to kill Zionists?

Ahmed: Yes, what about him?

Mohammed: How about we put a man in a jew-suit and then have him kick the freakisly large mouse to death, then blame the Jews?

Ahmed: Excellent idea! This will solve all our problems!

Second thingamy to ponder: Who or what should replace Farfour? I think that Wiley Coyote would be great (not very bright, always getting blown up by his own bombs...) Ideas on a postcard please.